Today My Dad Turns 70...

Today is my dad's 70th birthday. 70. That's big...especially to my dad who lost his own father at the age of 70.

I know this is not a normal post, but my dad has been one of my biggest cheerleaders for...well...all my life. I've loved him my whole life. He has supported me for as long as I can remember. I think it is important to show you all that we have a wonderful support system in our family and friends. Without them, well, I'm not sure we would be where we are today.

I've always been able to talk to my dad about a variety of things...which I guess makes me a "Daddy's Girl." From an early age, he instilled a love of reading in me. I firmly believe that is why I am a teacher, why I studied literature, and why I still love curling up with a good book. I can remember going into my parent's room to lay down beside my dad while he read---I would bring a book in as well.

I've been through a lot of ups and downs in my 36 years, and my dad has been there...probably more times than I can count. Whether it was after a bad grade, a basketball loss, a broken heart, a job change, a divorce...he was there...with open arms. I could always count on my dad to be in my corner.

I know that I am beyond blessed with my dad---and the fact that he and my mom are so close to us (all in the small town of Cambria). We're so lucky that they can help out with the kids, check on the two little dogs (as they don't get to travel with us at times), and of course, be there for us. I know some of my closest friends do not have this--and it makes my heart hurt because of that.

My dad is the oldest of three boys. His parents were some of my favorite people, and the only grandparents I ever knew. He was a railroad guy---having worked on the railroad for the majority of my life. He never missed out on important events in our lives (our being mine and my siblings). He came to my basketball games as a player and as a coach (I even recruited him to keep the scorebook from time to time). He has been there for my kids and has been there for softball/baseball games, school programs, sleepovers at his house, vacations/day trips. He never complains. He goes above and beyond for his family.

When I met Sam, my dad was one of the first people I told...odd, right? Maybe that's something for a mom, girlfriends, etc...but I wanted my dad to know about this amazing guy. When Sam hosted his first Veteran Art Show, my dad went with me. And, that was when Sam, an army guy, felt intimidated by my dad! Ha!

When Sam and I began dating, we had a few dinner dates with my parents. I'm happy to say there was never a dull, awkward silence during those times or in a conversation. My dad and Sam could chat (and still can) about anything. They got along well (and still do), and could talk for hours about history, war, and sports (among other things).

I remember having a conversation with my dad about Sam and PTSD. My dad listened. He didn't judge. He didn't ask questions, he listened. He wanted to know if there was anything he could do to help, or what I did to help when Sam was uncomfortable.  I also remember telling him that he was thinking about applying to This Able Veteran for a service dog. He asked some questions about the program, how that worked, what type of training, what kind of dog...he didn't judge. He was supportive and still is. He listened while I told him about the three weeks of training that Sam would go through--and he even volunteered to cook a meal for the Veterans in the class.

My dad has been through a lot in 70 years. Happy times, sad times, loss of parents and other relatives. Ups and downs with his family, and ups and downs with life. He's a wonderful husband...incredibly supportive of my mom, taking care of her, helping her with daily tasks...I've never seen anything like it.  He works hard (even though he's been retired for a bit), he cares, he listens...he loves. Although he is quiet, he is witty, sharp as a tack, and funny. He's been so supportive, so loving, and so caring to me, Sam, and the kids (of course, the furry kids too)...I just can't imagine our lives without him.

I hope you are fortunate to have a support system in your life. My dad is one of a kind...and I know that some of you have had that type of dad, love, and cheerleader in your life as well.

Today my dad turns 70...Happiest of birthdays, Dad.

Some photos of my dad--the first, with me, after graduation from SIU, and the second--with his catch  (Caden) on Navarre Beach (where we were married in Florida). I think both of those fellas in the photo are a great catch! 

A Journey

I don't profess to know much about anything---I am pretty good at teaching, I can make a mean Shepherd's Pie. The tenth Doctor will always be my favorite, and I love a good British TV show I can stream on Netflix. However, I am passionate about Veterans. I am an advocate for my husband (who is a Veteran), and I want to learn and understand the Veteran experience.

I spent most of my graduate school career reading, listening, talking to, and working with Veterans. These guys and gals came from all walks of life and some were even students in my classroom. When I met my husband, I had no idea that he would fall into some of my work--I read about missions similar to ones he'd been on...I read about loss and death as he would share with me...I learned first hand from a Veteran.

I started this blog with a passion--a passion for sharing a little bit about our life with a service dog. There have been posts that have been very challenging to write (see "Don't Rain on My Parade"), and there have been some that have made me wonder, "why in the world did you write that?" However, I hope I never run out of material. I am passionate about Veterans and service dogs, and the importance of learning about service dogs. I hope I can write about those things and people can understand what life is like for Veterans when they return home from war (with and without a service dog).

Writing is something that has come sort of natural to me...I don't claim to be an expert, nor am I a perfect writer, so at times, this blog will be less than perfect. You'll find some typos, occasional grammar snafus (and I even teach that stuff to college kids)...but no one is perfect. There's no perfect blog, and I'm certainly not a perfect author.

I plan to post daily, but also want to take weekends off. I don't know if the posts will ever come at the same time Monday-Friday, but I will try. I want to share photos of our family, of Memphis, and I hope they are quality photos, and I hope you continue to read, follow, share, and comment on these posts...blogging is a fairly new thing to me, so I am a work in progress, and am learning as I go.

Who knows about this blog? Friends, family, folks on social media...people who might be interested in Veterans or service dogs. Who reads this blog? Friends, family, folks on social media and people interested in Veterans and service dogs I hope. I know at times the posts are sappy, emotional, full of spunk or very real, but that is good. I want you all to see what life is like for us from time to time. I want you to understand the role of a service dog, and how important organizations like This Able Veteran are to Veterans across the U.S.

I have hit delete more times than I can count. I've tried to save posts, and then edited/deleted the whole thing. I let Sam read most of the content before I hit publish. I make mistakes. I might seem rude or like I am complaining, but sometimes this is a way to express myself, express the thoughts we have, and get that out (therapy? Writing is quite therapeutic).

So, what can you expect to find? Our journey. Our life with Memphis. Our ups, downs, happy times, sad times, good times, bad times...a little bit of everything. My goal is to reach a lot of folks--to interview other Veterans, talk to their spouses, work on asking trainers some questions, give you insight to our life with Memphis, dogs, and kids. This is our story, and it is a pleasure and privilege to write and share it.

2017 is around the corner...I look forward to what that has to offer--the journey--the challenge--the ups, downs...every single thing 2017 has to offer...why? 2016 was pretty good (okay, all the celebrity deaths have slowly drained parts of my childhood, but...), 2016 was good for me.

Please stick with me...I am trying new things as a "blogger" and am working out kinks that I didn't know about when I first started posting. I promise the content comes from the heart and means the world to me...

 Never good at selfies, but I managed to snap one in my office---thank goodness for photo filters!!

This sweet boy has captured my heart--and that smile melts my heart into a big gooey puddle...

Is it 2017 yet?

How many of you are ready for 2017 to be here? Can you believe that this year is almost over? Are you thinking or saying, "is it 2017 yet?"

With recent celebrity deaths, tragedies we see on the news, and daily events, some people are over 2016. I know I have had my moments of wanting to shove 2016 out the door, but I also have had moments of wanting to hug 2016 as well.

I have been reflecting and have to say that I am happy/pleased with the results of this year...we have been through a lot with our family, and I really am grateful for all the ups and downs, the good, the bad, happy, sad, laughter, tears..it has shaped us, and I think in a way, has prepped us for whatever 2017 may offer.

Highlights of 2016 for us...

1. Sam applied to This Able Veteran. He was accepted into the April 2016 class and graduated with Memphis.

2.  We were engaged in December 2015, and married on the beach June 14, 2016.

3.  I graduated (finally) from graduate school! Sam, Memphis, my dad Jim, and my friends Aubrey and Tally attended my defense and listened to me babble/answer questions about my work.

4.  Kirsten finished a travel ball season with a new team, SI Aftershock...she is now in 14U age group. We met a lot of new families and softball players.

5.  Caden has worked very hard on his reading skills, and is a Harry Potter fan...tackling the books.

6.  My parents and in-laws were able to travel to Florida with us to celebrate our wedding. This was very special for us as a family.

7. Sam finished another year of graduate school at SIU!

8.  Sam left SIU as did the VITAL program, but he is now housed at the main campus of the Marion VA.

9. I accepted a teaching position at John A. Logan College.

10. We have been blessed with good health!

11. Sam and I had the opportunity to travel for work/school. Sam and Memphis flew to Palo Alto, California, and I flew to Denver, Colorado for a conference.

12. We've been blessed to see many of our family and friends who don't live near us--we love taking road trips and have had the chance to visit (even if it is a day trip) some of our favorite places.

I would also like to add that I had Portillo's twice in 2016 as well...✌

I look forward to 2017 and the opportunities we will have--the blessings to come--and the adventures that await.

As far as blog material, content, and options go, I am looking at broadening the reach of what this blog covers and the people who read. Look for email options to come soon, as well as a daily or weekly update.

We hope that you have a great 2017--we look forward to sharing more expereinces with you all (and of course pictures of Memphis, too!).

Happy Holidays & Happy New Year---here's to 2017!
-The Hoekstra's

Determined.

The word determined can be defined as having a strong feeling that you are going to do something and you will not allow anyone or anything to stop you; no difficulties will stand in your way.

Sam is determined to finish strong this semester in grad school.

This week we have been determined to get our work done and survive. Grad school can be challenging. I spent many nights working on papers, researching, reading, add into that mix grading papers, and also being with my family. I thought I would never graduate. I had the best cheerleader in Sam...encouraging me, reading my work, talking me out of quitting or giving up...he was determined to help me succeed and finish strong.

Sam has been working every night this week on his paper and studying for his class. This is a big deal. Normally we are in bed by 9:30, 10:00 every night...but Sam's bed time has been a lot later due to studying and working on his final.

Why am I making such a big deal about grad school, studying, and determination?

Imagine having a TBI  (traumatic brain injury) that has caused you to have little to no short-term memory. Think about how often you would have to make notes for yourself, put reminders in your phone, set alarms, ask your significant other to remind you to do something. Imagine trying to read 25+ pages for a class, and then having what you read sort of disappear or come back to you in bits and pieces. With little to no short term memory, studying can be a challenge.

Sam makes notes, he highlights sections in textbooks, and then sometimes he types the notes up to review them...anything to remember or make studying easier.

I have watched him grow into a very determined person in two years. When I first met Sam he was outgoing, but yet I could tell there were times that he may have felt like giving up. He wasn't a fan of working 40 hours a week and taking classes for his Master's in between. He wasn't a fan of going into the office to study for finals, a test, or working on a paper. But, he was determined to finish that degree. I admire him for his work ethic and for his determination to succeed despite having some setbacks.

Sam's undergrad was interrupted a few times by deployment orders. He would start a semester, get orders, and have to leave. When he would come back, he tried to get back into the swing of school. Imagine how challenging that could be--moving from one community to the other---the military community always looming, but yet needing to fit into the college community and less structured environment of a college campus.

A semester would begin, and deployment orders would come again.

Three times he was shifted between two worlds.

When we talked about Sam applying for a service dog through This Able Veteran, he was determined to work on processing his trauma and getting a hold on PTSD. When he entered the three week trauma resiliency program, he was determined. He has worked hard to accomplish so much after three deployments and being medevac'd out of Afghanistan. He graduated with his bachelor's degree, he works in Behavior Health at the VA, and he is working on completing his Master's degree.

He's one of the most determined people I know. I know that he can do anything he puts his mind to, with the love and support from his family, and of course, sweet Memphis.

Is That A Service Dog?

Believe it or not, "is that a service dog?" is a question that is often asked when Sam is out with Memphis. Sometimes we hear it when we are at a place like Walmart, or sometimes Sam hears it as he's out and about for work. There have even been people at work ask him that very question.

What frustrates me is the fact that people try to pass off their pets as a service dog. There, I said it. I have seen people at sporting events with a small, tiny dog (think Chihuahua) and they've said "this is my service dog."

I'm sorry, what?

I'm not sure how that dog can provide a service? Can that dog help its owner if she's off balance from vertigo or about to fall? Can that dog alert her (and barking doesn't count, as this dog was doing, repeatedly)...

We've had expereinces where Sam has been questioned about Memphis being a "legit" service dog. This does not sit well with me as I tend to get into "Mama Bear" mode.

One example of this was at a SIU Football game. We decided to take the family out for a game, our first game of their season and as we were about to walk in with our tickets it happened.

A young girl (maybe college student) who was scanning tickets in another line walks over to the line we are in and tells that student worker "you need to ask that man for his papers on that dog. We need to see if that is a real dog."

I'm sorry. A real dog?

Almost at the same time Sam and I both said (politely) "you can't ask that by law."

And we got an eye roll and stare back. No "I'm sorry, I didn't know." No "oh, okay, my mistake." An eye roll. And then "well we need to make sure."

I couldn't help it. It just came out. "NO, you don't need to make sure, you need to quit asking."

According to the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), businesses may ask "Is this a Service Dog?" and "What tasks does the Service Animal perform?"

I don't see anything about a real dog or papers on that card...

(Sam and I both have a card that gives information from the ADA on service animals)

It is hard to keep my cool at times---I will be honest. I don't want someone questioning my husband in an accusatory tone, or telling him he can't have a service dog, or that he needs to show proof that the dog is real (of course the dog is real, hello! We didn't dress him up!).

Businesses may not:
1. Require special identification for the animal (this means you Fat Patties and Tequilas in Murdale).
2. Ask about the person's disability (this means people should not say, "what's wrong with you?")
3. Charge additional fees because of the animal (still can't figure out why American Airlines asked how much Memphis weighed when Sam was ready to pay for his checked bag).
4. Refuse admittance, isolate, segregate, or treat this person less favorably than other patrons (thanks for seating us out in no man's land various restaurants).

I know that some people aren't aware of what service dogs actually do, or why people need them. But, there are differences between wanting to take your pet places and passing it off as a service dog. That I have a problem with. I do know that some people may need an emotional support animal, or a therapy dog (and those dogs--emotional support & therapy do not get all access like service dogs) ...but not all dogs can be service dogs.

Equal access is a big deal for us, especially now that Memphis is in our family. Memphis is specifically trained to do work or perform tasks (like alerting) for the benefit of Sam--meaning yes, he works to help Sam with his PTSD. These tasks are directly related to Sam, and it means that Memphis can assist him, despite people asking for papers or identification.

And guess what...Memphis has identification! He has an ID card that is attached to his vest.

If you are curious about what types of dogs can be service dogs, I encourage you to read the FAQ page on This Able Veteran's website http://www.thisableveteran.org/our-dogs/faqs/

That link also explains the difference between companion dogs, therapy dogs, and service dogs.

Service dogs are getting more attention. A Veteran of the Air Force who works for a Lowe's store in Texas is getting some national attention. When this Veteran needed a job, Lowe's hired him, and his service dog (who also wears a Lowe's vest). There's a story circulating on social media and you can also read about it here:  Lowe's Employees.

Seeing these Veterans and their service dogs enjoying work, life, and being comfortable is so important. Making them feel as if they are doing something wrong by having a service dog is not okay.

Service dogs do wonderful work. Please respect that work, their Veteran (or handler). Please try not to ask questions that are inappropriate. There are resources and organizations that work hard to help our Veterans and educate those who may be interested in service dogs.

Battle Buddy

Do you have someone in your life that is your "person?" Your "BFF?" Maybe you have a "battle buddy." What is a battle buddy? Well, a battle buddy is someone you meet in the military and you share various experiences with--someone that "has your six." This relationship can last well after a deployment has ended. 

Sam is pictured below with one of his battle buddies.

 Now, the Army did not assign Memphis to be Sam's battle buddy. What is so unique about the relationships formed between battle buddies is that it is a strong bond that cannot be broken. Memphis has a leash that reads "Battle Buddy." We found it in Florida while we were visiting the Pensacola Naval Aviation Museum (and yes, I know that podium is a Navy one). We saw the leash at the gift shop and my first thought was, "oh, we have to get that!"

Sam served in the Army for 12 years. During that time he met a lot of people. I would go as far to say he has several battle buddies. Due to the nature of war, some of those soldiers never made it home, and some came home but struggled with the civilian world. I've had the opportunity to meet two of Sam's closest battle buddies. I can tell you that those men share a bond with Sam that I may never understand, and that's okay. Those men went through situations that some of us cannot even fathom. While distance separates them, I know they are always there for Sam. When they get to talk to one another, its like they have never missed a beat. If they get to see each other in person (one is in the Chicago area, the other near Nashville, TN), well, laughter, stories, and good times ensue. Their families have become friends to me as well, welcoming me in, even if I seemed like an outsider.

I'm post-war wife. Sam and I were not married while he was deployed. I haven't experienced what it is like to watch him leave for a tour. I haven't been able to welcome him home from a tour. We didn't live on a military base, and I didn't meet a group of military wives to form a bond with.  When I met Sam, he was working at SIU as a Peer Support Specialist with the VA. He was working with student-veterans. I can tell you I have witnessed the affects of three combat tours. I have been there when Sam has received calls to say that a soldier has taken his life. I have seen the ups and downs of anxiety, trauma, and stress.

I guess you could say that without having experienced war, we are battle buddies in a sense. We are going to do everything we can to battle PTSD. Do you have someone in your life that has been with you through thick and thin? Been with you at your worst, watched you grow and become your best?

There were times I worried about Sam while he was going to work. What kind of day would he have? How many triggers would there be? Would a Veteran cause Sam to have a bad memory while they were talking? What if he was so anxious and worried that he would not leave his office? I knew that his job caused triggers and was stressful at times, but at times I didn't know how bad it could be...

Then Memphis came into Sam's life. And a bond, just like a soldier would have with a battle buddy was formed. They spent three whole weeks together, getting to know one another in training. They were working, learning, talking, bonding...

They go to work together five days a week. If Sam has to travel for work to visit Veterans outside of the VA campus, Memphis travels too. Sometimes the weather does not cooperate and Memphis may get a day off (if it is too rainy). When Sam goes to class at SIU, Memphis goes to class at SIU. He will sit under a desk at work, or beside Sam in class. Sometimes people will comment, "I didn't even see a dog there!"

I feel so comfortable knowing that Sam has Memphis with him every day. I know if anxiety creeps in, he's got someone to decrease his stress. I know they have conversations on the way to work and the way home. Memphis has met many people, and even if it is a brief encounter, he makes their day better. When Sam's voice changes, or he uses a certain body language, Memphis knows and he can alert Sam by tapping on his leg, arm, or giving him a nudge--encouraging and offering support much like a battle buddy.

I read an article by James Dunz, and he said, "We should never underestimate the power of our actions. With one small gesture, we can change a person's outlook...So what does it mean to be a battle buddy? It could mean saving a life."

I believe those battle buddies from Sam's time in the military helped save his life...I believe that the work of This Able Veteran saves Veteran's lives. I believe that Memphis is a battle buddy... his outlook on life and the way he cares for Sam; his reaction when he sees him, well, it changed Sam's outlook...and Memphis saved Sam's life.

Memphis is pictured here, at his grandparent's house. With a little smile on his face. My mind and heart are at ease on a daily basis due to this fella. 

Giving Hope

 That sweet little chunky pup is none other than Memphis. At the time of the photo, we had no idea the joy and happiness he would bring to our lives. We had no idea that "big country" would give us so much hope.

The photo at the bottom is from the Rotary District 6510 fundraiser, Giving Hope. I just love that--"giving hope." You see, the wonderful Rotary clubs from District 6510 helped raise enough money to sponsor a service dog---can you guess which dog that is?

Memphis wears a Rotary patch on his vest. It was sewn on before he and Sam graduated from This Able Veteran. At the graduation, we were fortunate enough to meet Lane Harvey, a past district governor and an individual who helped get several Rotary clubs involved. What made this so special is that our very own local Rotary chapter in Carterville was heavily involved.

Rotary serves others---they even have a "4-Way Test": "Is it the Truth? Is it Fair to all concerned? Will it build Goodwill and Friendships? Will it be beneficial to all concerned?" We've met some amazing folks who are so generous and giving--with such kind hearts that they really live out the Rotary motto: "service above self."

How wonderful to know that individuals like Phil Gillespe, Jim Koonce, Brian Flath, Lane Harvey, Woody Almind, Dave Matthews, and many, many other individuals whose names I either can't remember or do not know, care so much about our Veterans and the work of This Able Veteran.

Through volunteers, donations from individuals and businesses, This Able Veteran (and Rotary District 6510) gives hope. How? By the donations, the training of the dogs, and even the volunteers and folks who help make the three-week training program for Veterans run, these people give selflessly of their time, their money, and they help support Veterans.

Did you know that TAV depends on volunteers and donations from businesses and individuals? They receive no government support, but because of the generosity of others they can provide service dogs, a trauma resiliency program, and travel, food, lodging at no charge to Veterans. Yes, you read that correctly: at no charge to Veterans.

I believe that a dog can be man's best friend. I believe in a healing power between humans and canines, and I believe in hope...I can tell you that there are Veterans who struggle with PTSD. They are afraid to go out in public, in large crowds. They can be overwhelmed with daily tasks, sometimes even having triggers at work. I can tell you that some Veterans want to hide and wear a mask because they don't want to burden or make others uncomfortable just because they have an invisible wound of war.

I believe that it takes a village to prep, train, and educate these dogs and their Veterans. Did you know that a $10 donation could feed a service dog in training for a week? Or that a $100 donation provides a service dog vest? Those small gestures, they mean so much...and they give so much hope...

Did Sam have hope during the weeks and months waiting to hear if he was going to be in the TAV April 2016 class? Yes. Do we have desires for certain things to happen in our lives? Yes, at times. Did we wish, pray, and plan at times for what our lives would be like with a service dog? Absolutely.

By giving hope, I truly believe that we can better the lives of Veterans. There's so much I want to share with you all about how much better things are for Sam. How daily tasks seem like a breeze at times, how Memphis can help if a trigger or memory comes to light...and I will. But for now, it is important to tell you all that we hoped, we prayed, we believed in a cause...and friends, I can tell you, this organization gives hope. The major contributors, like Rotary District 6510...they give hope...and because of the kindness of some people we may never meet, the generosity of people who believe in helping Veterans return home, life is good. Life is very good.

Our kids have asked us "what do you want for Christmas?" Now, as a mom that works full time, I could come up with a big list--a spa day, a pair of comfortable shoes, an iTunes gift card...but honestly, I have amazing gifts in my life. I am blessed. It would be so nice to bless others, as we have been blessed...

So, when asked, my answer is, "I would like people to donate to TAV. I want a Veteran to be blessed like Sam has been, and our family has" because this journey isn't Sam's alone, we are in this together.

If you feel the need to help provide food for a service dog, a leash and collar, or a vest,  or maybe you want to donate in honor of someone, consider donating to This Able Veteran. There are so many Veterans who have yet to really "come home" from their deployment(s)...there are Veterans who deserve a chance to have hope.

Please visit www.thisableveteran.org to learn more about the program, the people who make it happen, and how to donate. 

This Able Veteran (part one)

www.thisableveteran.org

My husband Sam, Memphis, and I took a little road trip to St. Louis a few weeks ago. We decided to hit our favorite restaurant, Twisted Ranch http://twistedranch.com/index.html, and one of our favorite stores, IKEA.

While roaming through IKEA, a woman approached us and asked, "Excuse me, where did you get your dog?" Now, this was a first. Normally people are trying to touch, or stare, or even say things like, "that man has a dog so he can be comfortable!" We've never heard someone ask where Memphis is from...

So, we moved out of the aisle, and Sam began telling the woman and her husband about This Able Veteran. You see, this organization does tremendous work for our Veterans. Not only do they train service dogs for Veterans, but they also work with the Veterans to cope and process their trauma.

Our knowledge of TAV was pretty simple at first. Since they are a local organization to us (about 20 minutes from our house), we heard of the organization. We supported their fundraising events by purchasing t-shirts, going to paring ceremonies, and even making donations. Volunteers and trainers would be out and about with service dogs in training and we would stop by and see them.

When Sam decided to apply for a service dog we had a lot of conversations about it...we prayed about it. This was a major step in his life, and in his recovery from three deployments (2 to Iraq, 1 to Afghanistan). The military played a major role in Sam's life, and in his current position with the VA, that role was still a major player in the form of memories, setbacks, triggers, anxiety, the list could go on...

It got so uncomfortable for Sam to be in public, big crowd situations like sporting events, concerts, movies, he tried to fake being comfortable, but he was always sensitive to consider how we, his family, felt, and what we wanted to do. He wore a mask and he wore it well.

Back to that application, or moment to apply--we had a rough family vacation. Big crowd, loud noises, almost claustrophobic in a sense. That was it, it was a major wake up call that in order to function with family or friends, he had to be comfortable in his surroundings and even in his own skin. I remember going back to our hotel that night in tears because there was nothing I could do to make the situation better. Nothing to ease the pain of feeling overwhelmed, remembering missions, thinking of soldiers lost, who never came home. Nothing I could do to take that pain away. I felt helpless...and if I felt that way, well, I can only imagine how Sam felt.

Once we got home from our 4th of July vacation, we had a major talk. Therapy was okay, but was that enough? Breathing techniques were useful, but did they really help? Keeping a coin around to have in hand was nice, but a coin, really? I was not always with Sam 24/7, but surely we could consider a service dog and that would help? So, he dowloaded the application, we talked about it, and in just a few short weeks it was mailed off to the TAV facility...and this is just part one of the process.